What was it that the General
Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church of God, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, said
that caught fire? At the recently concluded annual convention of the Church, he
advised male church workers not to marry women who cannot not pray for one
hour.
That was not all. He also advised
them not to marry women who cannot cook. Turning to the women, he advised them
not to marry lazy men and those who have no jobs.
While he was still speaking, social
media was aflame. The more charitable critics told him to get over his
old-fashioned ideas. Not a few said they considered his comment harmful and
irresponsible. Doesn’t he know that he is a role model?
Well, my father told me the same
thing and I’m not ashamed to say that I can’t remember how many times I have
told my own children the same thing: don’t marry a drifter, a spouse who
believes in nothing.
My father was not a Christian, so he
did not use Adeboye’s exact words about prayers. But what he said about a woman
without the fear of God and/or one who cannot cook would be judged a far worse
heresy by today’s social media standards. My father said that a woman who does
not have the fear of God is capable of anything and the one who cannot cook is
badly brought up.
That’s quite harsh. But it came from
his heart and I’m thankful for it. I’m also thankful that my mother taught me
to pray and to cook not because she wanted me to thresh melon while my wife
puts her feet up, but because she said I’ll never know what tomorrow would
bring or where life might take me.
I’m perfectly happy with my father’s
advice and the lessons my mother taught me. I have shared them with my son many
times.
It’s up to him to take it or leave
it but I don’t know many parents who will not share life’s lessons that have
worked for them – and even those that didn’t work – with their own children.
I understand that today’s world of
relative morality has no place for right and wrong, only shades of grey. The
in-thing – what is trending and in fashion – is to forget the past, especially
if that past comes from traditional society, and to embrace the spirit of the
new age, mostly defined by Western trends and standards.
There’s a variety of this relativist
thinking that I find very confusing. Because the icons of this age live in the
public square where pregnancy in all its sacredness is advertised as “baby
bump” on Facebook and “baby shower” announces the unborn child, the voltrons
insist that we can be judged only by their own standards.
We can’t say what we believe in
because we have to be careful to be politically correct; we cannot hold any
opinion because it might offend millions of other people who look up to us as
role models; we can’t even share a private moment with loved ones, because our
privacy is exactly what feeds the fly on the social media wall.
Those who want Adeboye’s head on a
platter for saying what he said in what was supposed to be a private meeting
with his church workers can have it, but if new thinking is so fickle that its
adherents cannot withstand anything more than the namby-pamby of their
ill-digested Oyinbo ideas, then too bad. On the day when anyone really, really
needs to pray – woman or man – you won’t need Adeboye to tell you how long to
pray.
The old school should not relent or
give up the values they hold dear without a fight.
As for the adherents of the new
thinking, we know a good number of them: hypocrisy is their middle name. They
will not tell their own wards and children to do what they vigorously advocate
on social media. They live two lives – one for Facebook, the other for
Closetbook. Fools follow them at their own peril.
Recently, a friend shared a
conversation he had with his daughter with me: “Dad,” the young lady said to
her father, “What would be your response if I said I had a lesbian or gay
friend – just a friend.”
My friend said he thought very long
and hard for a reply. He didn’t want to say something that would turn his
daughter off and yet he didn’t want to encourage the relationship.
“You will not have a lesbian friend
because bad company corrupts good manners,” my friend replied his daughter. “I
have nothing against people of different orientations but I also reserve the
right to choose my friends, just as you do. I wish you would use that choice
wisely.”
He had to walk on eggshells to say
the word. That’s what the adherents of the new thinking have done to us – they
have robbed us of the gift of plain speaking, but they won’t stop at making us
softies. Their ultimate goal is to silence us. We are afraid to speak up for
the values that we believe in, because we’re afraid to be labeled
old-fashioned.
My father would not have faced this
misery. It would have been inconceivable for me to even think of it, much less
discuss it with him. If ever I crossed the line, he would have stitched up my
mouth with stripes.
Of course, that generation had its
excesses rooted mostly in superstition, fear and ignorance. But trust me, they
have given more than their fair share to get us where we are. The choices we
make going forward are entirely up to us.
*Contributed by AZU ISHIEKWENE, the
MD/Editor-In-Chief of The Interview magazine and board
member of the Paris-based Global Editors Network.
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Pix: Azu Ishiekwene
